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The Exploding Heads bring you the chilling tale of Jose Mourinho’s three-year curse and why the manager is doomed to stay at clubs for only three years for eternity.

With Halloween upon us once again, the football world has spent the day attempting to chill us to our very bones with their ghoultastic offerings — some to greater effect than others.

– Halloween XI: Spooky selection of Premier League stars

Neymar resisted the urge to give himself a starring role, instead letting his son Davi take centre-stage.

The Brazil international’s employers, Paris Saint-Germain, decided the proper course of action was to give their entire squad heart palpitations by scaring the living daylights out of them not once, but twice in quick succession.

West Ham had a similar idea, roping in “Michail Myers” (née Antonio) to hide in cars and leap out on his unsuspecting victims/teammates.

Elsewhere, Arsenal filled a room with dry ice and eerie lighting and had their players recreate famous scenes from classic horror movies. Laurent Koscielny’s confused channelling of Jack Nicholson is one for the ages.

Tottenham took several players to a haunted mansion that came complete with advancing zombie hordes, bloody challenges and well, lots more zombies.

Manchester City’s offering was altogether easier on the blood pressure, with the club making young defender Oleksandr Zinchenko (“Zinchiller”) dress up in red leather and dance like Michael Jackson.

Barcelona’s Halloween spookfest was the least frightening of all, with the Catalan side merely cramming a few miscellaneous Lionel Messi and Luis Suarez goals into a short video.

Other than the odd flash of lightning and pumpkin here and there, it’s difficult to see what was supposed to be so shiver-inducing about that one.

The same could be said for former Liverpool midfielder Luis Garcia. The Spaniard had some great fun in 2016 by trolling Chelsea fans over his infamous “ghost goal from the 2005 Champions League semifinal and he resurrected that spirit for another — somewhat overwrought —  outing this year.

Cristiano Ronaldo got the whole family — or should that be coven? — involved for a spooky ensemble photo…

Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to watch Killer Koscielny bellow “Hey Johnny!” just one more time.

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